..find Rick Allen's arm." Bo's eyes grew almost wider than his tummy, which is to say they grew very wide indeed. Ebenezer continued, "You see, my ample friend, our hybrid requires the most powerful arm rock and roll has ever known." The old man turned his back to the tubby, pizza-faced monk to rifle through a particular stack of ratty old papers with an air of hurried determination. An unfortunate by-product from this was a startling revelation to Bo that the old man was not wearing anything under his well-worn leather chaps. Bo immediately knew this was a sight he wouldn't soon forget.
With a satisfied mumble, LaBoeuf turned back to the bulging young monk and gave him a broad, if not a little unsettling, smile. "I've found it. The whereabouts of Rick Allen's missing arm is shrouded in mystery, but this should help you on your way. There's a man living in the cave on the top of a tall mountain who will be able to help you find the arm, but he will not give you the time of day unless you repeat the words written on the paper I've given you."
Bo let out an indescribable noise; a mixture of obvious hunger, frustration, and an almost, but not quite, negligible measure of confused sexual excitement. Bo was a fleshy, troubled little monk. It's best not to think about any correlation it may have to his zest for hoagies. Speaking of which, Bo suddenly quizzed the old man, "Say, before I go, do you have any cheesy hoagies? I sure could use a good meal before my trip up a mountain. A corn dog, perhaps?" Bo considered this for a second before adding, "Better make it three."
Ebenezer frowned at the sweaty little doughball. "I'm afraid I haven't got anything like that, I've been warned by my doctor that the next greasy or otherwise unhealthy thing I ingest will stop my heart. Would you perhaps like a nice zucchini instead?" Bo let out a sigh so deep that most subwoofers would be jealous. "Well, you know that I'd really-" Ebenezer gasped. "How could I have talked about this so long without remembering! I have one of the pieces of our hybrid rock and roll God! Take this with you." The peculiarly, and arguably inappropriately, dressed old man handed Bo a small satin bag lined thick with rhinestones. Inside it lay an incredibly...unique (horrifying)...nose. Bo let out a surprised yelp. "This must be the nose of
10 comments:
Twisted, seriously. Rick Allen's missing arm, lol.
Okay, well - I know it's my turn, but I am also late for my next Sims update, which I am in the process of writing. So once that's finished, this is next on my list.
YAY! This is great news. Do you have any teasers for me!?
Check ya gmail.
Apologies in advance for sequestering a great number of the available synonyms for 'fat' in this update. I have every faith "you people" will be able to substantiate our hero's heft in more clever words than I could muster.
You have no idea how mad I am that I didn't think of the arm thing myself.
lol, I just love the word hoagie!
mwb, I do believe I had a stroke of pure brilliance when I thought of that. I got giddy as soon as I thought of it.
Hi, Garden Girl, thanks for reading and actually enjoying our ridiculous story!
Garden Girl, you should go to your local sub shop, and order a hoagie, just to see their faces. I don't think anyone calls it a hoagie outside of Philadelphia and its general surrounding area. Then ask for some TaskyKake.
I mean TastyKake. Jeez. TaskyKake sounds like work.
lol, I might just have to do that! I had never heard of one of those before I read this story. I had to google them!
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