Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Pt. 11

...silver-plated cigarette case.  "Listen, Tom," Bo said offering him a cigarette, "I can't give you the tooth, it has a destiny beyond both of us.  Plus, we both know that gun you're holding shoots BBs.  I'm a teenager, you think I've never seen an Airsoft gun before?"  Tom sighed even more deeply, stared at the gun with a measure of contempt and blame before stowing it and taking a cigarette from the case.

"Now," Bo started as he lit Tom's cigarette, "tell me what you know about this tooth."

After thirty full minutes of babbling, it became clear to Bo that Tom knew absolutely nothing about the tooth, and was definitely quite insane.  Fortunately, it wasn't a very long bus ride from Hoboken to the Bronx and by the time they arrived, Tom had forgotten all about the tooth and was begging Bo to stand on a corner and harmonize with him like some kind of two-man doo wop group.  "Maybe later, Tom - I have a tooth to deliver." Bo reminded him before walking into the liquor store.  Tom followed dutifully behind.

Both men blinked and waited for their eyes to adjust to the dim light inside of the store.  Tom spoke first.  "I like to drink to suit my location."  Bo sighed, turned to Tom and pressed his finger to his lips before turning to the man behind the counter and inquiring, "Are you Ebenezer LaBoeuf?"

"I might be," the man said simply.  Ebenezer stood six feet tall with a mane of shoulder length gray hair.  He was reading a magazine and hadn't looked up from it once since they'd walked in.  "Well I have an item that might be of interest to you, " Bo said as Ebenezer continued to read.  "Midge sent me." he finished.

Ebenezer looked up without lifting his head.  "That so?" he asked.  Tom grinned widely and said, "He's got a tooth in his bag!  I carry Wales inside me."  Bo jerked his head toward Tom to give him the wtf eyebrow while Ebenezer closed his magazine and said, "Come to the back room, boys, we'll talk business.

The back room looked exactly like the front room, except

12 comments:

Darryl said...

I quite enjoy what we've done with Tom Jones in this story. It's really something fantastic.

Darryl said...

Is there a reason we are not published yet?

Unknown said...

Thank you. Do you mean the Royal we?

Darryl said...

No, the collective we. As in you, I and the working boy.

Unknown said...

Probably because we have only one reader, besides ourselves.

Darryl said...

I submit that we do not NEED anyone else. Besides, I think it is clearly an issue of widespread inability to understand our humour. Our style is as serious as a heart attack.

Unknown said...

I'm having a heart attack right now. ~nods~

Darryl said...

Jealous. Can I have one too?

Unknown said...

Watch Rebecca Black's Friday until infarction or stroke.

E. Studnicka said...

If the ability of our style to induce physical trauma can only be paralleled/understood by Rebecca Black, then does that mean that our one reader IS Rebecca Black?

Unknown said...

She only reads this site on Thursssday, cuz she's gettin' down on Fridays.

E. Studnicka said...

Either that or she is having a chicken cookout/participating in a gang fight. Both of which I would prefer to believe over your hypothesis.