Part 30

Our young hero gulped hard, sweat washing over his face like salty spring rain. Growing up, he had heard tales of the mystical Bowie castle, stories of children being taken away in the night to the lair and having eyeballs torn painfully from their sockets, only to be replaced by elegant and undoubtedly very expensive jewels. Stories of having your flesh stripped and re-upholstered with bizarre and vibrantly patterned animal pelts. Stories of martian arachnids eating your face, leaving behind only the shape of a lightning bolt. It was a god awful large affair.

Bo sighed, "It's like a labyrinth in here," looking around quizzically. No sooner did the words escape his sweaty, grease-stained lips than did a brilliant puff of rainbow-colored, glittery smoke fill the area directly in front of our travellers. Through it walked an androgynous, tanned snow-white, and fashionably-minded being with a hairstyle that obviously never got the memo that the 80's was over.

"Greetings" the figure bellowed, shaking the very foundation they all seemed to be standing on. He gazed upon Bo and K Jax with a discriminating air. His once solemn glare brightened, seeming pleased with what he saw and confirmed it with a gleeful "Oh, you pretty things! You must come in. How I do loooOooove having guests over!" A weary wave of relief cautiously washed over our heroes, and although Tom didn't consciously know it, he had wished something more substantial would wash Bo.

"M-Mr. Bowie.." began Bo, only to be interrupted, "Please, my boy, call me Ziggy, or Starry D. Mister Bowie is my dad's name. He was a knife. He split up with my mother, no pun intended. It's a miracle I'm even here today!" Bo was briefly disgusted by the implications this carried and secretly hoped that the whimsical man would not make any further attempts at punnery. As his mind was slowly congealing this thought, Ziggy gasped and flounced, "What do you mean you didn't like my pun? It seems my taste in puns is not so sweet. Very well, I'm just happy to have you here! Come, join me for some light snacks!" With snacks now on his mind, Bo vibrated happily.

Kangy and Bo followed their host through winding corridors made completely of what appeared to be cocaine-brick and mortar, up flights of stairs that clearly harboured no interest in obeying the laws of physics, through a room with two doors each manned by one of two identical and equally irritating guards, across an unimaginably large snowflake, and into Ziggy's living room, which was large and very-much forgotten by the 1970's. In fact, it was so much so that even the shag carpet was velour. 

"Now," exclaimed the oddity who very well may have been from space, "I understand that you fellows would like to be heroes, even if for just one day."